bored

How come holidays are so ridiculously boring now omg.

Like I was talking to a friend before and then got sleepy so i was like going to sleep. However i decided to watch X-men the 2nd one to finish the x-men movies that i have.

So now I've finished it and it's 3.31am and I am kind of tired but not tired enough to sleep in my current state of overpoweringly unbearable boredom. So now I turn to blogging.

I also have a tummy ache I think, i wonder what i ate that made it so angry. I think it's the ridiculous black sesame seed pudding thing that my mum made and i tasted. Disgusting, like it wasn't even pudding yet because it hadn't yet solidified though that should not account for its shit taste. I mean liquid jelly tastes nice.

How come these holidays have become so borring.
omg my stomach.

X-men was good well the ones that I watched anyway. The first one i saw was origins on tv and it was pretty (really) awesome so i decided that i wanted to watch the rest with also some indirect persuasive conversations with my methods buddy.This happened like. .. a few months ago. (the convo)
So anyway, after exams I watched X-MEN first class next with a "friend" before going to a birthday and finished it some time in the next few days because we didn't finish it.
Then I watched X-MEN (1st one) yesterday and then X-MEN (2nd one) today.
I remember the buddy told me which order to watch it in but i forgot =,= though it's kind of all screwed up when you throw in First Class and Origins. That's why I just watched it all over the place EXCEPT it's obvious how you'd watch X-men 1,2,3 in that order.
Of course I also know that First Class is a prequel and quite a few have annoyingly reminded me multiple times of that fact (or they only told me once and i hear it fifty times from fifty different people). But I was conflicting over the experience of whether I want to know everything in the beginning OR have great fun revelations by watching the prequel last.

As I previously wrote, I ended up watching the prequel first-ish (excluding origins) and I seriously shouldn't have because i did not experience that elated joy but a mildly "oh" moment, and considering the extreme reactions from my buddy and other people who went all "WOW and OMG and EVERYTHING CLICKS". All I felt was a fking "oh". So freaking stupid.
Although the "oh" sometimes became "ooooooooooooooooooooooh," I reckon if I watched the prequel last then everything would be "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH".

though of course this is my fault for deciding and agreeing to watch X-MEN first class with my friend (with free will and all). But I'm still going to push all the blame on this friend because he didn't see it and i happened to have it and i also happened to agree to watching it.
I was DEFINITELY jealous whenever he gushed and gasped and went "OOOOOH" during the fking movie.
So freaking annoying.

NEVERTHELESS, they were good movies. Though I reckon it was because I watched the prequel first that I started my obsession of trying to reference every single bloody thing i see in the other x-men's.

I did say I would upload photos.

 where I watched the movie

the movie I watched

now it's 4.19am I should go sleep now. doesn't really mean I will, but i'm getting a headache so i might.

HOLIDAYS

I AM SO BORED BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED. like i don't know, when exams finished i was SO happy like i started jumping and smiling really (too) widely and shrieking or whatever. and now I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY BORED. I remember like during exam period, i was like I can do AS MUCH of this stuff (not related to exams) when exams finished. but now that they have and like two days of this randomness i am utterly, horrifically, annoyingly bored. Like i don't even want to do the stuff that i wanted to do SO BADLY before. 

I don't even want to game, i just want to go out and talk to friends and socialise and MSN. I think it's the msn BECAUSE MY EMAIL GOT FKING BLOCKED SO NOW I CANT SIGN IN AND IT'S TORTURE. I NEVER KNEW HOW IMPORTANT MSN WAS IN MY LIFE UNTIL NOW. IT'S UNBEARABLE. I FEEL LIKE THOSE COCAINE ADDICTS IN MOVIES WHO FOAM AT THE MOUTH. I feel like crying. 

i need my email back. I NEED IT VERY BADLY. 

Of course I contemplated the idea of creating another email. BUT this email was the VERY VERY VERY FIRST EMAIL that i had. and was not made by my dad. 

I got it in year four

YEAR FOUR!!!!!!? 

yes your four. I even REMEMBER myself making it with help from a friend. also this email started a significant mashimaro name trend which is now a part of my very soul, even though i have never fully watched a proper mashimaro episode. I always named something related to it. ALWAYS.ALWAYS. and now the very first thing which i named is blocked and it is potentially lost forever. 

You know I have even grown out of this "mashimaro" thing i mean i don't even watch it in the first place, i just really adore the fat looking bunny. Though now it's different, no longer is "mashimaro" just an obese-ly fat bunny but a PART of me.

i can even type it with my eyes closed and with no mistakes AT ALL. mashimaro_luu@hotmail.com (there i just did it REALLY fast)

that email has seriously grown on me, like I have gone through so much with that email. when there was like constant spam and random crap going on, we stuck by each other. when everyone started thinking that their current email sounded way too retarded like "cutsie_lil_angel-babe" or something like that, we stuck by each other. i mean we have gone through SO much and now it's blocked. 

also I'd need to re-add people and talk to them as well

maybe ill make a temporary one for now. 

OH RIGHT yeah like i can't unblock my email because the back up email for my blocked email is like...i forgot the password and when it came to resetting my password (for the back up email) I didn't remember what date of birth my dad put in and which postcode was included when he signed me up for it. 

i'm so tired right now but i desperately need msn. oh and not being able to talk with friends on msn is also a reason which is just as bad if not worse. 

study period

I have not been studying lately and I want to but there are so many distractions. Like this. but blogging and read blogs are alright, it more about the apps on my phone.

I want to earn the right to watch Pride and Prejudice on tv on ABC(2?) though I definitely don't deserve it right now.

studies

Exam's are coming and i'm gradually getting more scared, Like i've also realised that it is around like the week before exams or SOMETHING like that, that I will be having the most eventful week I ever had throughout my whole high school life.

Not only is there my graduation, there's a "celebration day" AND there's also this valedictory at mwsc.

I haven't asked my dad if I can go to the valedictory yet, but I'm assuming that my parents will just let me go because I dunno, they didn't seem so opposed to it.

If I don't go then I'm so sorry Jess, I tried.

So at the most crucial time of my high school life where study is the utmost importance, it actually contains the most annoying events throughout my whole high school life. It's ridiculous, unjust.

When I first found out about this monstrosity, I was appalled. I've had five and a bit years of extremely uneventful school events that i had to attend, such as:

year 7: nothing

year 8: nothing

year 9: nothing

year 10: one day social in the school hall

year 11: formal

and now in year twelve, i have:

formal, "celebration day", graduation, random shit. Idk.

oh there's some farewell dinner as well, but that's until after exams, in the holidays.

simply atrocious

also it's like the drama that I have missed during the past years have all accumulated into this one year.

In year 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 I've basically experienced a very non dramatic type of life where it was awesome and the only adventures of deception and lies and horrific rumours I witness were in korean/chinese dramas. I hate drama. Hate Black Swan, it's creepy.

Then in year 12, people are SLEEPING *COUGH* HAVING SEX *COUGH* (omg OMG) with wrong people? And couples cheating on each other ? And a BUNCH of couples forming. DUDE in movies LIKE HSM III for instance, isn't it the time when people break up because of uni or like NOT go out with other people?

and then two people like this person but this person likes him and he likes her and they form and others are like GROWLL.

Half the stuff I just said didn't happen, just saying.

and there are these mysterious "WARS" says my friend. HAHAHAHAH HOW FUNNY. WARS WARS

no really it's kind of scary. ._."

YOU SEE irony's a BITCH. I don't even think I used that properly.

but like in the most important year where everything NEEDS to be uneventful, then it turns out to be THE MOST . extremely "annnoying" year with the most..events. and drama.

DRAMA - omg I don't even READ manga's with that genre, it always reminds me of a journey which starts out happy yet comes to a sad and tragic, heart wrenching middle where the bitch is in power and unleashes their power of evil through blackmail, lies and retarded shit schemes that work- for awhile.

Then when everything slowly gets happy again then THE DRAMA ENDS. bitches.

Though I have to say I love it when the evil characters GET IT. (karma)

Then by the end of the drama I feel like my heart ran a marathon. A MARATHON. :'(

it's mainly because of the STUPID STUPID STUPID situations. Like the main girl told the evil girl something and manipulates the guy. Idk I forgot. Something like that.

OF COURSE MANY HAPPY THINGS ALSO HAPPENED! OMG OF COURSE !! COURSE COURSE . v. awesome things happened as well!!!!! (like stuff that happened in year 12)

I am very grateful for the AWE SOME stuff that happened.

thinking

You know sometimes my brother asks really weird questions. Like this other friend too.

Well he said if you could choose to be really really really handsome or really really really smart, which one would you choose.

Well that is a very hard question. Obviously it would most likeLY be the extraordinarily smart one. However isn't there also a possibility that you could become depressed? like from all the knowledge or something. (he said this and I feel like i should say this to give him some credit)

Also well if you were pretty then you'll be dumb and ..well i think it's kind of obvious that being dumb is not a great thing, like you can be easily exploited for your good looks or like something horrible i don't know.

However being pretty is also not a bad thing at all IF you have someone extremely smart and trustworthy with you. (again my brother suggested this).

My friend on the other hand has MUCH MORE SIMPLE questions. Like if you were in prison, would you choose to be the one being raped OR the rapist? AHA ! WHAT WOULD YOU/I DO HUH?

I would choose the rapist. ALSO would you sleep with a rich 60 year old man or a 15 year old kid?

.__________________________."

THESE QUESTIONS, oh so thoughtful yet oh so WEIRD.

title

i find the title of my blog kind of embarrassing. but i don't want to change it XD

i think i cringe a little every time i see it :')

nail polish

YESTERDAY at highpoint me and my mum bought this nail polish that cracks when it dries and it's so fun to play with ;)

i have like a glittery purple base colour with that black cracked stuff on top now. I feel a bit emo when i look at my hands, especially when i'm also wearing my black watch.

so like today there was chem tutor and i could basically FEEL people staring at me and my nails. Not like I'm paranoid.

I like looking at it. It's just intriguing and BEAUTIFUL. but i need better colour combos .

Cosi.

haha the first exam everyone's doing is english and that happens to be my worst subject. Like three essays in three hours, I CAN'T EVEN DO ONE PROPER ESSAY IN THREE HOURS. so it's like I'm screwed.

Each sentence just requires SO much thinking and thinking and thinking...and more thinking. it's ridiculous. It's not like you can write whatever because then you'd be rambling which would be "VERBAL DIARRHOEA" or "WORD VOMIT". HAHA.

anyway yeah you have to think about PROPERLY addressing the prompt, how to include the themes in your essay, show that you know the book with GREAT GREAT GREAT DEPTH and FINALLY do ALL THIS IN SOPHISTICATED AND FLUENT LANGUAGE. and also doing it within ONE HOUR

hahahaha I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH ALL OF THIS. sucks balls.

I'm in the middle of writing an essay right now even. It's called "Cosi" by Louis Nowra about a play within a play. It's when this uni graduate decides to take the job of directing a play with a group of mental patients. It's actually a beautiful book, like it's funny LOL and has those DEEP meaningful stuff and stuff. yeah. Like for a book to study it's good, I wouldn't read it for fun though. That's weird.

Anyway I'm stuck, so now I'm just going to ramble on this blog. OH yeah the prompt i'm doing is: "Through the imagery of light and dark, Nowra shows that chaos can be both frightening and liberating. Discuss." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH it's SO ANNOYING.

and i've ran out of ideas or whatever, and I can't be bothered thinking more about the situations or whatever where light and darkness is mentioned. It's pretty bad I guess.

OMG I JUST TYPED SOMETHING AND PRESSED CTRL Z AND THE WHOLE MINI PARAGRAPH DISAPPEARED. DAMMIT. argh. whatever. and I forgot what I was talking about.

oh yeah. I was meant to say that I think I've already made great grammatical or sentence failures in this "post" but I won't proof read it because I need to save my energy for PROOF READING ESSAYS.

It's like whenever I focus on something, I end up ruining it. Like try-hards. They try to be cool, but they're not. Because they're trying. So whenever I try to speak or type in a fluent and sophisticated manner, I don't.
but I think my english improves when I'm angry or something.

PHOTOS

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I LOVE PHOTOS BUT I'M NOT POSTING ANY UP! AND IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A LOT ANYWAY. I LIKE THE NOTION AND THE IDEA OF PHOTOS, YET I USUALLY HATE/DISLIKE THE WAY I LOOK IN THEM. I'm TRYING to change that but hell. WHY SHOULD I CHANGE MYSELF? CHANGE IS INEVITABLE ANYWAY AND ILL CHANGE REGARDLESS OF MY OPINION ahahahHAHAH. this is a HIGHLY DEBATABLE TOPIC (well that's what I think, OBVIOUSLY).

ANYWAY. i'm going to TRY AND CHANGE ANYWAY. BECAUSE IM LIKE THAT. a PERSON WHO JUST LIKES TO CHANGE HERSELF ACCORDING TO WHAT SHE THINKS IS RIGHT. AHAHA BUT I DON'T NEED TO CHANGE MYSELF INTO SOMETHING THAT I THINK IS RIGHT. Actually THAT in itself is a WRONG, saying that I want to change myself, all the PREACHING in movies and from REAL people say "YOU SHOULD JUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH WHO YOU ARE." AHAHAHAHAHA WELL. BY MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE WITH WHO I AM, I AM ACTUALLY DOING THE OPPOSITE. BECAUSE OF THAT WORD "MAKING".

it should just come naturally i suppose

i'm always so emotional when i'm writing in this blog ;')

(oh I didn't even post a photo, oh how misleading the title shall be) (ill post photos up when i actually have them) (on my laptop)

OMFG

OMFG. I have this friend who goes to my old school and like I basically don't talk to him AT ALL now. Anyway, he is this UNBELIEVABLY RIDICULOUSLY artistic person. and he does art as a subject. TRUTHFULLY i didn't even KNOW he had art as a subject. AHA goes to show my ability to KEEP IN CONTACT WITH FRIENDS.

well. anyway I saw photos of HIS FINAL WORK OR WHATEVER AND LIKE THEY ARE THESE OHMYGOODNESSLY, RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING SCULPTURES. ARGH AREGH AEHGSKHLBKDS>F I WANT TO SEE IT SO BAD WITH MY OWN EYES. JUST ME AND THE SCULPTURES, EYE TO BLOODY CLAY AND LOOK AT IT IN ALL IT'S GLORY.


I WANT TO SEE IT SO BAD.ARRRRGH.

you see, now i feel like a COMPLETE stalker BECAUSE WELL, I JUST WANT TO SEE THE BLOODY SCULPTURES!(?) WTF.
IT'S LIKE A NEED. A PASSIONATE NEED TO SATE MY OVERWHELMING DESIRE BY STARING AT HIS WORK.

OMG IT'S LIKE I HAVE A MESSED UP MIND. i feel like a freak now. GREAT. well whatever.

WHATEVER.

AND I NEED TO GET OFF GAIA. THIS BADBADBADBADBADBAD AND HORRIDLY ADDICTING WEBSITE. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS! IT'S LIKE YOU DRESS UP YOUR AVI AND PLAY GAMES AND DO THIS WEIRD STUFF.
OBVIOUSLY I FEEL THAT IT'S NOT REALLY A WASTE OF TIME.

BUT IT DEFINITELY IS. ESPECIALLY DURING THIS TIME OF THE YEAR. HELL, EVEN SLEEP IS A WASTE OF TIME NOW. I NEED TO STUDY. OMG yes. I WILL STUDY NOW.

MAYBE after I finish reading this book.

haha ha ARE WE MEANT TO PROOF READ BLOGS? WELL TOO BAD. I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT BECAUSE I HAVE NO OBLIGATIONS TO THIS BLOG. IT IS HERE TO SERVE ME AND MY NEEDS. ESPECIALLY WHEN only like two ppl follow me? and i seriously doubt they even check it now because I don't even.........write much on here.

OMG MY SISTER POOED WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING. THAT IS SO WEIRD. LOOOOOOOL.

my mum just told me that like just now. so yeah. it's not like I thought LONG and HARD about how to end my blog.
I only do that in english. in essays.

grumpy

now so sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy

release the anger.

I am so angry. This conclusion was drawn from two main occurrences:

At the cafeteria today, these YEAR ELEVEN JUNIORS DARED TO PUSH IN FRONT OF US YEAR TWELVES in a kind of annoying way.


This was how it happened... We were wedged between this year eleven guy in front and these two year eleven girls behind.The girls just couldn't stand to just wait for a few minutes and that boy in front ...I just really dislike him.


Anyway, it's common decency to not to push in front. Even if you do it, do it silently and shamefully. So they were talking, and the girls were trying to shove in but there was no way to get through. Once this was realised the asshead turned to the girl and said

"OH I CAN'T TALK TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT FACING ME, STAND BESIDE ME,"
girl says: "OKAY" (or something..whatever)

therefore she and her friend shoves in front, and pisses everyone off.

The second time was because of certain "likes" mainly about beating wives, girlfriends, and boys playing whatever game instead of playing with their girlfriend.
...and the sandwich shit.

Like. okay a few "likes" about this stuff, I don't care. Of course if it actually happens to anyone then I would.

But seriously after 50, these likes become very repetitive, and it gets offending and annoying. I don't see the point of it. I mean do these people find joy in creating these likes?
Do they actually do what they write? Or maybe cases of women being abused when people are beginning to believe that both genders are equal seem so unbelievably ironic to which they HAVE to comment through overwhelming amounts of likes regarding women being abused.
It's annoying and disrespectful.
I suppose you could say if I was so fed up and angry, why not just stop reading these likes. Well yeah I could have done that, eventually I did, but I kind of wanted to see the extent of these "likes". Yeah that's all.

The day wasn't so bad though, I may have only been overly emotional, and good things happened.

Like:

1. I won't need to go to school tomorrow,
2. Classes were normal/alright.
3. Talking was fun.

Too bad I've spent too much time on this blog, facebook, tetris and community channel therefore now I need to finish my essay. Only................................................seven paragraphs left.

I feel better now